I write about movies often, which means I watch a lot of movie trailers. I see a ton of terrible movie trailers and I see a ton of great movie trailers. I see a copious amount of mediocre trailers.

This is the very first time where I’ve involuntarily said “what in the actual fuck” at a trailer out loud. I’m honestly at a loss for words at the moment, so I’ll just get out of this trailer’s way.

Behold, the trailer for The Shack:

I feel I need to repeat myself: What in the actual fuck?! It starts off mediocre enough, but the longer the trailer went on the further it plunged into the depths of insanity. Can anyone actually decipher what this movie is even about?

Let’s get to the bottom of this. Here’s the synopsis:

Based on the New York Times best-selling novel, The Shack takes us on a father’s uplifting spiritual journey. After suffering a family tragedy, Mack Phillips [Sam Worthington] spirals into a deep depression causing him to question his innermost beliefs. Facing a crisis of faith, he receives a mysterious letter urging him to an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Despite his doubts, Mack journeys to the shack and encounters an enigmatic trio of strangers led by a woman named Papa [Octavia Spencer]. Through this meeting, Mack finds important truths that will transform his understanding of his tragedy and change his life forever.

In further reading, apparently “Papa” is actually God, which Mack knows immediately, due to the fact that he didn’t have a relationship with his father. So obviously for Mack, the only other explanation is that God is sending him letters, signed with his kinky fetish name. Jesus is there as well as an actual middle-eastern carpenter, and the Holy Spirit manifests itself as an Asian woman named Sarayu.

Papa looks to be the actual embodiment of the Magical Negro trope. Hell, the movie actually looks like it’s taking it one step further by making it the Magical People of Color. But honestly, this may be the least egregious part of this whole fucking thing. With Collateral Beauty and now this, these faith-based movies are getting weirder and weirder. At least Sam Worthington isn’t going hungry.

Just, fuck.

The Shack hits theaters March 3rd.

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